Saturday, June 30, 2018

A Quiet Mind

My mind is quiet while the room around me screams,  people talking and babies crying, legos clinking and the tv singing a song to its toddler audience .

My mind is quiet with thoughts of the past, the smiles and the laughs, the songs and the stories.

My mind is quiet thinking of how much i could use a hug to make things seem so much better, to take some stress away.

My mind is quietly calming me down,  preparing me to go with the flow and work as hard as i can. 

My mind is quiet with thoughts of what i can do to make you proud, to keep the boat afloat.

My mind is quiet until someone says "can you grab this for me in a medium" and i snap out of my mind and smile and stand tall and walk with my head up all the while still thinking of how much i miss you.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

In the Air


Heat,  i can handle,
Humidity,  not so much
My curls frizz,
I look like a different person.

My lungs fill with the damp air
I feel the struggle to breathe,
The fear of suffocating in the back of my mind.

I can feel the dampness
In the classroom around me,
The tables sticky
and the paper feels different,
Soft and wet in texture.
I'm cold yet sweaty,
it's not a fever,
it's the humidity that surrounds me. 

I wait for the rain to come-
Hopefully taking the humidity away
With each drop off rain that falls.
If only.


July 2017

Simple seeds spread joy,
Flowers bloom as Spring-
Warms the chilled ground.
Rain falling from the damp clouds,
like tears falling from my eyes,
Steady yet soothing.

The Sun beating on my skin
feels like home, when I was
young- when life was sweet
like honey in my bedtime tea.
I miss those dark eyes- saying
I love you and good night.

Another World


Reading calms my mind,
Soothes my soul,
Takes me to another world,
Helps me escape my reality,
the one that mentally drains me and makes it hard to be.
Let me escape until I find a place I love and I can stay for evermore.

Someday, Maybe


Strong body but tired mind,
Young in body but old in soul.
I live my life day today and week by week,
What has to be done to stay afloat,
to survive in this dog eat dog world
Where money is everything and if you don't have plenty you're living paycheck to paycheck.
The uncertainty of when things can and will happen in a life that we are told we have control over.
I have control over little.
I can control my attitude
I can control the respect I give to others
When I go to sleep or when I'm hungry.
I can't control what others judge about me,
if someone doesn't see the potential I have.
This life I'm  living is not the one I'd pick for myself in my late twenties.
A woman of nearly thirty has her life put together and is on the right path she chose. Right?
Not this time.
I have a passion to inspire others, but I have to do in on my own time.
Some day, maybe things will work out,
Maybe I'll  live in a spacious place with the people I love the most,
my fur baby and I cuddling on the weekends when I have my only chance to sleep in.
Maybe, just maybe, some day maybe, I'll feel whole.